I’m Thankful Thanksgiving Offends All the Worst People

Thanksgiving has always been my favorite holiday. Turkey, stuffing, pie, four-day weekend… What’s not to love? But what makes Thanksgiving especially enjoyable are all the neurotic and narcissistic whiners who use the holiday to pretend they’re not Nazis.

Nobody stole your land, you godless crybaby.

Nobody slaughtered you or anyone you know, you squealing little gerbil.

Why don’t you cry some more, bitch, while I add another dollop of whipped cream onto this fat slice of sweet…

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